Seats of Higher Learning

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Every year, thousands of people enter the portals of these higher seats of learning commonly known as colleges or universities. And it’s also every year when thousands of people leave that same portals with a degree already attached into their names. That’s the way it is. But pondering deeply, it’s not as simple as it seems.

So, why do people attend a college or university?

I reckon, it’s a timely question. We are living in the 21st century, everyone! This is the era when everyone is tangled into a competitive jungle and having a college degree seems to be the prerequisite to thrive in that competition. Let’s just say, it makes the people sure-footed and it keeps them standing on the ground. You can never tell the economic situation of the world, hence, we sometimes need something to back us up.

Much being said, a college education indeed plays an important role in one’s personal success. Here are some of the reasons why I think so:

First, it is no secret that most companies (especially the industry giants) throughout the world seeks to hire individuals who are professional in certain fields of expertise. Just like surgeons, diplomats, lawyers, chemists, pilots, engineers and architects. Due to the gravity of these kinds of work, one must be equipped with knowledge and skills from years of study in those specific fields before he or she can be qualified for these jobs. Companies view college degrees as a testament that one is capable for that post.

Let’s face it: no one would normally hire a high school graduate for any of those aforementioned jobs.

Moreover, going to college is like an investment for one’s future. Like I’ve said earlier, it is an assurance if ever things in the corporate market get unstable. Most of the high-paying jobs in the society these days employ college graduates.

Another thing, a lot of students who enter university are still unsure of what they want to be or what they want to do. Many of them often take their education for granted. However, once he or she gets into college, he/she is exposed to a variety of extracurricular activities which would help him/her determine his/her real passion. I guess, college just helps students see past beyond the visible horizon.

Lastly, just the mere fact of earning a college degree brings about an inner satisfaction and pride for an individual. College is the closest resemblance to the real world, hence it is a good practice for young students as they prepare to face the world that awaits them after graduation.

This is just what I think, anyway. I admit there are also some advantages of going into college. But at the end of the day, it is still up to one’s discretion if college would be of much help for one’s future.

The Augmented Reality

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This particular blog post is about the cyber-illusionist, Marco Tempest. So what’s so great about him?

Marco Tempest started as a magician based in New York. As time goes by and advances in technology are made, he tries to blend these cutting-edge technology into his creative ideas of illusion and magic. Hence, the name cyber-illusion.

Having a passion for science, illusion and magic, Marco Tempest “explores the borders between technology and magic, between what’s incredibly real and incredibly not.” He experimented with the augmented reality incorporating it with his storytelling and performance skills. And these unusual combinations became his trademark. His creative and innovative ideas have wowed audiences from around the world. He has received a lot of awards and has been featured in TV shows in dozens of countries.

Some people argue that cyber-illusion isn’t art. But other people, like me, believe that it is and Marco Tempest here is in every way an artist. As a matter of fact, I think everything where creativity is showcased can be called an art.

For those of you who didn’t know Marco Tempest yet, you might find it hard to understand what he does. As what was quoted earlier he experiments with reality and illusion. Really, it’s hard to capture into words the innovation that Marco Tempest brings.

By the way, Marco Tempest has had already five talks on TED. But for this post, I chose to feature this particular video because I find what he did here, completely cute and funny. Like his previous performances, I just like to think of this as another authentic……..deception.

Awesome, indeed!

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Creating a film which is based on true stories indeed poses a great challenge for its creators. Just like for Rob Legato when he created the special effects for blockbuster films like the Apollo 13, Titanic and Hugo. Now, Apollo 13 and Titanic were both based on real-life stories (Well, for the case of the Titanic, the Jack-and-Rose-love-story may be fictionalized but the tragedy is very real). I think it is interesting to note that Legato had put into consideration the emotions of the viewers as he tried to recreate on the cinemas two of the memorable events in human history.

At the start of the talk he said that he discovered something about the human brain, which is quite true: what we feel alters our perception of things. I had personally watched the three aforementioned films. Legato’s replica of the sunken Titanic is no different from James Cameron’s actual footage of the ship when he went on an expedition miles below the Atlantic. Personally, during the film’s video playback, I could never tell which one is Legato’s model and which one is the real thing. Also I was surprised by the fact that on Apollo 13 no actual footage of the Saturn V mission was used during the filming because usually, film makers do that when they’re trying to put a true story on cinema. As what Ron Howard (Apollo 13 director) said, they basically started from scratch. And it’s amazing how Legato’s replica of the take-off impressed the astronaut Buzz Aldrin! I can say, Rob Legato’ special effects were really good that it almost look authentic for the viewers.

Confounded

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It’s so confusing…

I was getting along fine but… why oh why did I ever stop being oblivious to all of these? This is just a huge joke, isn’t it? I don’t have the biggest of all problems. In fact you might laugh at me once you will know what’s bothering me. Nothing important at all but I have no idea why it’s taking up almost half of the thinking space inside my brain. And I’m afraid my emotions are starting to get involved in a messy tangle… Help~

If you ask me if I instantly liked him the moment I first saw him, I’d be lying if I say “yes”. Truth is, I barely noticed his existence until that day he told my friend that I was bragging about my beauty. Hah~ since when? Of course I never said such a thing. I mean, I don’t have enough confidence to yell to the whole world that I’m pretty and stuff. Most of all, I don’t even think I’m pretty at all.

That’s how it started. But then I have to admit that I already found him to be good-looking the moment that he entered my attention radar. Not the infatuated type of admiration. I just plainly know at the back of my mind that he got the looks.

Anyway, as the days went by, this same person frequently complimented me. He was calling me “pretty” and words equivalent to it in his own language (this is one of the advantages of being multilingual. I can actually understand what they are talking about)… I brushed it off as a joke. It was probably nothing, wasn’t it? People can say you’re beautiful without actually meaning it, right?

The days ticked by, then I started noticing his actions towards me… He would say something that would get my attention. He even jokingly claimed to be the celebrity whom I was head-over-heels infatuated with. But do you know what he did which had me questioning what was really going on inside his mind? It was when his pet names for me upgraded. He began calling me his girl. O_O Like OMG~ This was a first for me. Never in my life had I been claimed to be a guy’s girl. Not even through jokes~! (It’s either they were shy to do so or they were not at all interested in me).

Questions started shooting through my head… Wait don’t tell me this is a sign of flirting… Is he into me? Does this person like me? Then why would…blah…blah…blah… I didn’t want to assume. You know how it could lead to heartbreaks, disappointments and all. Maybe he just ate something which prompted him to act like this. I’m sure a joke like this will be forgotten by tomorrow. So what I did was I acted nonchalant and dismissed what I heard from him call me as a joke.

Oh boy, something happened which solidified my hunch that this person is somehow interested in me…. One day I lost my wallet at the mall and I was completely penniless. I called a friend to tell her about my terrible feat and this friend in turn informed me how  worried this guy was for me. If he wasn’t a stranger to this land, he could have rushed to where I was to get me out of my predicament… He himself personally told me about it when we met again. My heart skipped. Could it be…?

People might have noticed these weird exchanges between us over the past days and weeks (or maybe they heard him called me his girl) that they started teasing us. Being a numb person as who I am, I didn’t pay attention to this nonsense. I don’t like him anyway. Or do I already? Ugh… now I’m starting to get confused.

Until one night…

Because of just a drinking game, something happened which would mark him in my memory forever. Nope, it’s not that thing which most of you are probably thinking right now. Eeep~ I’m a good girl.

It was  insane. It was crazy.

I lost in this stupid game and as a punishment, I had to drink a whole glass of disgusting beer (I really hate the taste of beer…yuck!). But there’s a twist. I had to drink it with him. Do you know how newly-weds drink their champagne? That’s how we should do it. Couple shot, as they say.

That’s not all…. As part of an additional consequence, I had to kiss this guy. Can you imagine how embarrassing it was on my part? But I didn’t want them to think I was childish or coward. So I mustered up all the courage to do the challenge. I’d just give him a slight peck on the cheek and that would be the end of this nonsense. But then when I stood up to bring my lips to his cheek I froze…. He was aiming for… .

No, this couldn’t be happening. I went back to my seat and buried my face on the palms of my hands. Boy, I was glad the pub’s lights were dimly lit or else they would see how red my face had become. Our friends were already coaxing me to finish the consequence. I closed my eyes and deeply exhaled. I’ll just do it really really quick then that’d be the end. Yes, that’s what I would do. Somebody please kill me. I’m dying of embarrassment. I’m…”

My mind was still battling and gathering up courage when it happened. I felt it before I realized what happened. His lips had met mine. For a moment, I stayed motionless disbelieving the reality of that moment. Did we just…?

Yes, because of a drinking game, I would probably remember this guy for the rest of my life: he stole my first kiss.

What did I feel? Disbelief and gnawing embarrassment and wait….. I reckon I was blushing. I crumpled a tissue and threw it at him. “Hey, did you know that was my first?” I retorted. And I want to make it special but you already took it and oddly, I don’t know why I didn’t feel like I care. He apologized. He’s just so nice for me to remain angry at him. He bowed his head and he couldn’t look at me. I could tell, it also took him a lot of courage for him to do what he just did. Wait…I think he was blushing. Or was it just my imagination playing tricks on me again?  Instead, I told him I was so embarrassed.

After that episode, I was grilled with questions. Do I like him? Yes. I think I do.Who do I think as the best guy in our group that night? Him? I mean, we shared something intimate. Why not choose him? He also underwent the same questions. I didn’t pay much attention to what his answers were. I guess, I was just scared to hear his reply. Though let’s just add to my memory bank that moment when we shared a cup of Starbucks frap after that drinking session.

Days and weeks had passed and his return to his homeland is fast approaching. Yet, in the most unexpected of times, I found my mind drifting back to that night of January 18th and that nerve-wrecking moment the following day when I wasn’t sure if I had the courage left to face him. So far I did have and we joked and talked and played games as though what we shared the night before was nonexistent. Or did we just choose to bury it in the memory of the past?

I have to confess that he’s giving me butterflies in my stomach. I’m not sure when it started. I just know that I have this weird feeling whenever he’s around. I know about this involuntary urge to stalk him once in a while. I know about this persuasive voice within me to drop a casual “hi” and “hello” on his Kakao. I want to remain “pretty” under this gaze. Ohmigosh…Could I be slowly falling for him already? Am I already fascinated with this person?

I noticed that my emotional tangle had caused me to grow distant from him. Perhaps… I’m afraid that my feelings would get a little deeper and I would actually miss his presence a lot once he leaves. Or perhaps because I’m just a reclusive, shy and distant person by nature who cannot do even a simple flirting perfectly. Yeah right~

I would be lying again if I didn’t say that I felt pain somewhere within me when someone told me (or rather, I found out) that somebody has already owned his charms. And I saw the girl with my own eyes. A pang of hurt hit me like daggers and my topsy-turvy mind got even more confused.

What the heck were all his actions about? Why was he showing interest in me all along? Does he think I’m an easy girl to get? Perhaps he was thinking he could have me as a fling for his short stay here. Sad to say but that’s more likely it. If he is already with somebody, there’s no reason for me to entertain this blossoming fascination that I have for him.

I noticed that as the days went by, he started to grow distant from me. He wouldn’t greet me like he usually did. And he stopped calling me those pet names he created for me. Part of me expected it. Part of me wanted to ask him about this sudden change, though I already knew what the answer could be. Well, I was the first one who acted coldly, wasn’t I? (Really, since when have I treated people warmly, specifically species of the opposite gender?)

I hate to admit it but I missed it and I’m secretly wishing to spend more time with him, at least before he leaves…

Our friends continued matchmaking us and stuff despite of this growing awkwardness between us. Both of us were trying to stop them or, if we couldn’t, just ignore those remarks. Just then he told me (with our friends in the audience) something which I couldn’t classify as either being a compliment or a euphemism: He reckons he is unworthy for someone like me.

See? Whatever he meant by “unworthy”, bottom line is it could never be him and me. And this will never be a happy-ever-after fairy tale between us. What am I expecting anyway. It’s not like a cute infatuation story can actually develop in a matter of two months. Not between two people who are residing in two places separated by thousands of miles of ocean. And of course not, if one of them is already with somebody else.

Fool.

This person gave me his picture as a remembrance. I was having second thoughts of accepting it. I mean, do I really need to remember him? I’m sure that with or without pictures, he will remain in my memory for the rest of my life. Seriously, I can now imagine telling my children and grandchildren about this part of my teenage life. Thanks to what happened on the 18th of January. Yeah, if you know sarcasm…

A couple of weeks from now, this guy who gave me mixed emotions of infatuation, annoyance, happiness and even fondness, will be leaving….he will be returning back to that place where his life really revolves around. My heart has a brain on its own. And it has a wish… (though I know the chances of this paving its way to reality is almost next to impossible). I wish to be able to spend one whole day with him ——- to see what it’s like to be with him. And of course, I want to know how it feels to have someone cherish and appreciate me (if he was not lying when he said that he like me). In my 19 years existing on this planet, I reckon I deserve to feel things like this, don’t I? Or maybe I need to wait longer because like what he said he’s unworthy for someone like me.

You know what I mean?

And yes…. I hope I can finally have the courage to confess  that I fancy him. But will I be able to have enough bravado to do it if given the chance?

Geez… why am I fretting so much about this?

I’m confused.

Perhaps, I shouldn’t let myself be bothered with this right now because the confusion and the unanswered questions are driving me nuts.

“Ever had that …

“Ever had that feeling that you don’t wanna wake up anymore because by the time that you open your eyes, it only means that you’ll be pulled back to reality. And reality means that stupid routine of existing in autopilot, doing this and that, being this and that, saying this and that —— ALL AGAINST YOUR WILL. Goodness, is that even called as existing?”

…words of a desperately lost person…

Where is “home”?

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Here I am again, trying to pour out my tangled thoughts in front of my laptop. I sweep my gaze around the room: Nah~ all the folks inside this house have already gone into the depths of slumber.  Just so you know, it’s already two hours past midnight. Me, still being awake at this hour, is very much normal. Yeah, I admit I’m nocturnal. In fact, I have been nocturnal even before my call center work altered my biological clock.

Being active during the night is a good thing for me though. Like I said, my thoughts and emotions are in chaos. Night is the only time when I get the chance to sort out things and contemplate about life.

There are a lot of things going on inside my head right now. Worst, every single thing that is bothering me seems to add to this utter sadness I have been feeling for months since I snapped back to reality after that eleven surreal months I’d had in South Korea.

I’m hurt, confused, vexed, sad. I’m longing for “what-has-beens” and “what-used-to-bes”. I’m wistful of the things I want to do and achieve. Sometimes, I blame myself for feeling these things. Yes, it’s like a mixture —-  a complex web of emotions which trapped me into this predicament I’m currently in.

Mess or not, it all boils down to one certain thing: I’m HOMESICK.

Yes, you read it right. I’m indeed homesick. I know it may sound weird. Why should I be yearning for home, if I’m already”home”? Or am I really?

I can feel my heart heavy with utter sorrow every time I’d remember that dream land where I’d stayed for eleven months. I’m a stranger into that place, that’s a given. And people expected me to be taken aback by the differences between my culture and their traditions. But things happened differently. I blended in. And it’s so ironic how I found the sense of home in a place where I supposedly don’t belong. That’s the only place where I felt comfortable being myself. There I felt welcomed. Most of all, that place taught me to make the most out of my freedom so that I can thrive effectively on my own.

Sigh…

How can you forget something which gave you so much to remember? Eleven months might be a short time for most people but often those swift moments will turn up to be the most memorable in someone’s life. But why is it so hard to let go of the things that are now just a part of my memory?!? (ㅠ_ㅠ)

Ever heard of “hiraeth”? It’s a Welsh word which has no English equivalent. And that word exactly describes this chaotic tangle of emotions I feel within. Originally, hiraeth is the longing one feels for Wales, and all things Welsh. In my case, it is my deep yearning for a connection with the land of South Korea. And this is the string which pulls me “home”.

Call me a traitor to my own people. Probably I am. I don’t know. .But isn’t there a saying that “Home is where your heart is”? It just so happened that my heart hasn’t left South Korea yet. Do you know how it feels living on autopilot every day. I wake up on routine, go to work on routine, do things I’m required to do on routine but my mind and heart aren’t really on the matter. It’s like there’s a huge void within my being: EMPTY.

Then again, it’s a hiraeth. I’s so silly that I’m homesick for a home to which I cannot return to—- at least, for the meantime, not yet.

But I’m an optimistic person. I believe that someday….. I can somehow find myself in a place where I truly belong.

LOST

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What am I doing here?

Okay, I have to admit that I made a really huge mistake. This isn’t really for me. Who am I kidding? Have you ever had that moment in your life wherein you feel that you are so lost?

Yes, I’m lost. I was strayed from the path that is supposed to be mine. I made the wrong turn and now I ended up in the wrong place.

No matter how I tried, I can’t get myself to be interested in this field. All these talks of politics and state relations……OMG, I just couldn’t relate to it. Like, who cares about peace keeping? I’ve got enough problems on my own to deal with. Who cares about such long verbose laws? It’s just oh-so boring and lame (no offense to the people who are into this field). And I feel so stupid and dumb person every time I can’t answer basic simple facts about it.My mind suddenly goes all blank.

I’m just not into it. So what am I doing here?

I used to love jargons. You know like, Adenosine triphosphate, fuselage and dura mater. At least they make sense. I just don’t get it why simple common terms like instability, imperialism and R2P will not get inside my thick head! It’s frustrating.

I don’t understand why people argue over something that is purely abstract and theoretical when there is a concrete object to experiment about.

That brings me back to my question: What am I doing here?

I feel trapped. I’m wrong, alright but I honestly don’t know why, in the first place, I chose to venture in this path. What made me chose to traverse such a boring road?

Enough of the pretense. For the first time in my life, I will now acknowledge the fact that INTERNATIONAL STUDIES IS NOT ——- AND WILL NEVER BE ———— MY THING.

Where did the future neurosurgeon go? That person who used to be a burgeoning researcher ——- what is she doing now? What will become of this person who keeps on trying to fit in a place where she doesn’t belong?

You know what the most tragic thing is? That is, to deprive your heart of the happiness and interest you deserve. I hope it’s not yet too late for me to escape from this prison. I hope it’s not yet too late for me to do whaally like…

Where am I? What am I doing here? I’m lost…Image

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m o o n l i g h t u n e s .

I know its hard to sing along to the verses since SNSD sings so fast -.- All Ive managed to do without looking at the lyrics is get the chorus ahha! Anyway, the translation may be a bit off since the person I got it off from isn’t fluent in Korean. But along the lines it looks ok. I’ve been on such a Gee fan. So catchy, lyrics are something I’m sure every girl has felt before ^^ And the dance hahaha I learned a bit of it, I was doing the hand movements of the chorus one night when I was walking home from the bus stop, and a guy walked past me… i must’ve looked so weird ROFL!

CREDIT: Ethereal.soul @ z-degrees

—–

Korean[몰라]
Uh huh, listen boy.
My first love story
My angel and my girls
My sunshine
Oh, oh let’s go!

[서현]
너무 너무 멋져…

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